Twisted Mind (Chequered Flag #2) Read online

  Twisted Mind

  Chequered Flag, Book 2

  Mia Hoddell

  Twisted Mind

  Copyright © 2015 by Mia Hoddell.

  All rights reserved.

  First Print Edition: March 2016

  Limitless Publishing, LLC

  Kailua, HI 96734

  www.limitlesspublishing.com

  Formatting: Limitless Publishing

  ISBN-13: 978-1-68058-528-5

  ISBN-10: 1-68058-528-2

  No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to locales, events, business establishments, or actual persons—living or dead—is entirely coincidental.

  Dedication

  For Lauren

  Thank you for all of the support over the years. Whether it was to listen to me drone on in History or to be one of the first to buy my books, it means the world to me. I can’t thank you enough for sticking with me.

  Table of Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Chapter Thirty

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Epilogue

  Chapter One

  Dustin

  “Elora, open the door.” I hammered on the cherry red wood and the door rattled under the constant pounding. “Elora!”

  I ceased all movement for a second, listening for the slightest sign of life on the other side. I knew she was in there. Her car was the only one left on her parents’ driveway and Elora never walked anywhere. If she refused to let me in I seriously considered breaking the damned thing down because what I needed to say couldn’t wait.

  I’d driven straight from Teo’s race at Silverstone. Seeing Raine fight her fears for my brother brought everything in my life into perspective.

  I wanted what they had.

  I wanted someone worth fighting for, and Elora wasn’t that person.

  Hell, I’d tried to make her the one. I really had. However, it wasn’t working and I was stupid if I thought it ever would. Seeing Raine with Teo over the last few weeks only forced me to confront what really remained between me and Elora.

  Nothing.

  That was it.

  There may have been lust at the start of our relationship, but it soon fizzled out. The only thing left now was a doomed relationship filled with violence and an unhealthy rate of break-ups and make-ups. Everyone else saw it, yet I had been dumb enough to believe her capable of change.

  If it wasn’t for the baby I’d have cut all contact weeks ago. I knew, however, that I couldn’t leave my child—born or unborn—alone with her. That wasn’t a risk I could ever take with a life so innocent and fragile. If I wasn’t around to take the hits, then who would?

  Regardless, I could no longer be the victim. I wouldn’t leave my child defenceless or without a father, and if I had to fight for custody I would. However, I’d reached my limit of the amount of abuse I could take. I had enough evidence to prove how abusive Elora could be and I refused to put my child in a situation where it would grow up in a household with parents who despised each other. I didn’t want it growing up hearing what violence sounded like, and I definitely didn’t want my child to ever become the victim.

  He or she wasn’t even born and already I had begun to adjust my life to accommodate the child. A protective desire stronger than anything I’d ever felt burned within me and whenever I thought of harm coming to my baby my rage became uncontrollable.

  The fucked up situation between us needed to be resolved before the baby was born, and that was why I found myself standing on Elora’s doorstep, demanding she answer me.

  “Elora, I know you’re home. Open the damned door!”

  Finally, muffled cursing and the shuffling of feet came from the other side. When the door opened, tortured eyes greeted me. Pain-filled and sleep deprived, faint red rings circled them like she had been crying. For once her body looked frail. Her arms hugged her mid-section, though all of the actions appeared feeble.

  My mind shot into overdrive, blowing my prepared break-up speech out of my head.

  “What’s wrong? Is it the baby?”

  Elora stiffened. It was only a minute difference, yet since I’d been deliberately scrutinising her movements I noticed. I studied her intently, trying to figure out what had happened in the space of a day and a sliver of guilt filtered into her gaze before a single blink erased it.

  “Elora, what’s going on?”

  “Uh…we need to talk.”

  A sickening apprehension churned in my gut. Nothing good ever came of those words.

  Dustin, we need to talk about our relationship. I don’t think it’s going anywhere.

  Dustin, I’m sorry I hit you. I’ll never do it again.

  Dustin, please take me back. I promise I’ll never do it again.

  The past phrases that all started with the words ‘we need to talk’ wouldn’t leave me alone. Although, this time it felt worse than all of them. I couldn’t explain why, only the uneasiness seizing my joints warned me Elora was about to turn my world upside down yet again.

  Stepping around her, I walked cautiously into the living room. Not able to bring myself to sit down, I folded my arms, widened my stance, and fixed Elora with a steely glare.

  “Tell me what’s going on. Is it the baby?”

  She stalked over to the sofa and dropped down onto it with a huff. “There’s nothing for you to worry about anymore.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “It means I’ve taken care of everything.”

  Icy tendrils started to creep around my heart, smothering it in paralysing fear as her words sank in. “What have you done, Elora?”

  She waved a hand at me dismissively. “You can go now. I’m no longer your concern.”

  I straightened my lips into a tight, thin line and my nostrils flared. “What about the baby? That sure as hell is my concern. If you think for one second I’m allowing you to keep me from my child then—”

  “There is no baby, Dustin.”

  I sucked in a sharp breath. My entire body tensed and I pressed my balled fists against my legs. Blood pounded in my ears, a rapid thundering to push the rage through my body so not even an inch remained left untainted.

  “Fuck, Elora! What were you thinking? What were you going to do when you were meant to start showing? Did you honestly think you could try to trap me with another fake pregnancy?”
/>
  Her gaze darkened. “That was one time! Are you really still hung up on it?”

  “Let me think. My girlfriend claimed to be pregnant to try and get a ring out of me. Then when I failed to follow the plan she transformed into an abusive bitch. And now she’s at it again. What do you think?”

  Crimson bled across her face. “No, Dustin. I really was pregnant this time.”

  The tightness in my chest constricted further. “You said was…”

  She fixed me with a nonchalant gaze, like she was talking about something as simple as a visit to a salon, and said, “I had an abortion.”

  Like Elora had physically hit me, I stumbled back and shook my head. While I wanted to believe she wouldn’t do something so life changing and vindictive, this was Elora.

  “Tell me you’re lying. Tell me this is another fucked up game you’ve invented to give yourself a kick,” I ground out, trying to hold onto the fury rapidly burning away the shock to consume me.

  “I couldn’t do it.”

  I inhaled deeply, bringing a hand up to pinch my nose while I closed my eyes. When I reopened them I held Elora’s indifferent expression with a challenging glare.

  “Tell. Me. You’re. Lying.”

  “I can’t. I had an abortion.”

  The words sliced into my heart, white hot pain ripping through my chest and spilling to the rest of my limbs.

  “And you didn’t think to talk to me first? You just went ahead and murdered my baby?”

  “It was my choice to make and I didn’t feel ready.” Not even a speck of remorse flowed from her words, the natural urge to defend herself taking over the tiny amount of humanity in her body.

  “I can’t forgive you for this, Elora. I ignored everything else you put me through because of our child. What you’ve done…” I raised a hand to my hair, pulling on the roots and barely containing the desire to punch something as the grief snowballed in my chest. “We’re done. Stay the fuck away from me and my family or I will go to the police for harassment and assault.”

  She gripped my wrist to prevent me from leaving. “I did this for you. I thought you’d understand.”

  I whirled around, not realising she’d moved so close. Her body almost pressed up against mine, her face inches from me. I jerked my hand free from her hold.

  “For me? How could any of this possibly be for me?” I roared. “And what the fuck is there to understand other than you’re completely bat-shit crazy and have no regard for anyone other than yourself?”

  Her palm collided with my cheek and my head snapped to the side from the force of the blow. Instantly, a stinging pain radiated out from the point of impact.

  “I knew you only stuck around because of that baby! I’m cutting you free because you never wanted me.” She curled her fingers against my cheek, her nails digging into my skin as she forced me to look at her.

  I could have easily broken her grip. However, not once had I ever laid a hand on her, and even if I wanted to, I never would.

  “So what if I didn’t want you? I sure as hell didn’t stick around to be used as a punching bag because I enjoyed it. Our baby was the only one who had my love.”

  With a demented cry she drew her nails down my skin. A searing pain flowed down the trails she’d left. Then her fists found my chest. She pummelled them against me, pushing and shoving me backwards.

  “You bastard!”

  Hit.

  “You fucking,” shove, “piece of shit!”

  Smack.

  “I’m glad I got rid of it.”

  Punch.

  “You’d have been a shit father.”

  With palms outstretched she moved to push me and I caught her wrists loosely. I prevented them reaching my chest, circling them in one hand. Stepping forward, I used my extra height and strength to force her back to the sofa.

  “Sit. Down,” I growled and when she refused to comply I hardened my voice further. “Now, or I’m calling the police.”

  Her knees buckled and Elora collapsed on the sofa. Her eyes cleared minutely and she blinked to focus on me. I could feel blood starting to pool in the channels she’d clawed, yet I kept my focus on the woman responsible for more of my pain than a few bloody trails.

  “Here’s what’s going to happen.” She opened her mouth to speak and I held up my free hand to silence her. “I’m going to walk out of your door and your life. You will not come near me, call, text, write, or any use other form of contact with me or anyone I know again. You will stay the fuck away or I will throw every penny I have into making you pay for all of the shit you’ve pulled, and I won’t stop until you’re behind bars.”

  Apart from her complexion paling, she gave me no indication she’d heard me.

  “Do you understand what I’m saying, Elora?”

  She nodded grudgingly. I’d never been so cold or assertive and the shock was clear in her silence. Nevertheless, I had nothing left to protect and nothing tying me to the bitch any longer. I could say what I wanted.

  “I’m going to let you go now. If you so much as raise a finger to me I will follow through on my promise. You know I can do it as well.”

  Tears welled up in her eyes. She blinked hard, forcing the first one to break free. It always went like this. When anger didn’t work she broke down in tears.

  “I hate you,” she spat.

  Never again would I allow myself to be swayed by her act. I dropped my hold on her and took a step back. Satisfied she wasn’t going to lunge at me, I strode over to the door. “Go to Hell, Elora.”

  Chapter Two

  Dustin

  Only once I’d returned to my flat did I allow the full torrent of emotions to crash down upon me. I slammed the front door and stormed through all of the rooms, checking to make sure they were empty.

  Of course they were.

  Teo was in the middle of a race and Raine was no doubt still there cheering him on.

  With a strangled choke that merged into a sob, I collapsed on to the sofa, hunched over my lap, and buried my face in my arms. My shoulders heaved as my cries broke free and I began to tremble.

  I couldn’t believe she’d done it.

  I’d only just started getting used to the idea of becoming a father and now I’d never get the chance to even see a picture of him or her, let alone hold them in my arms. They had been the only good thing to come out of mine and Elora’s relationship and now even that was tarnished.

  I had no concept of how long I remained curled over and I didn’t care. Inexorable pain speared my heart and forced it to fight for every beat as it slowly bled out. Another sob wracked my body and I linked my fingers against the back of my neck to hold myself in place. Rocking back and forth I struggled to breathe around my suffocating cries.

  Finally wiping my eyes with the back of my hand, my gaze fell upon the deck of cards on the coffee table. I needed the order they brought me. They allowed me to be in control when everything else spiralled around me.

  I slid them out of the packet and shuffled them. My hands shook violently, making the slippery cards hard to hold. Once they were in a random order, I fanned them out and with practised precision began to rearrange them.

  Hearts, jacks, diamonds, clubs.

  Red, black, red, black.

  Two, three four, five…jack, queen, king, ace.

  My hands flew over the cards, organising them swiftly until I was happy with them. Then I shuffled the deck again and started the process once more with a different arrangement this time.

  I could control the outcome of this. It was ordered, concrete. No one could interfere with the pattern. The cards did what I wanted and they only formed a jumbled mess when I made them.

  Not like my thoughts or emotions.

  I had no control over those. They grew bigger inside me until they devoured me completely, and I was powerless to do anything to stop them. Each thought cracked my chest open a little further and the cards weren’t helping in the slightest.

  With a cry of frustra
tion I hurled the cards across the room after fifteen minutes. They spun and fluttered, each one twirling so the glossy surfaces caught the daylight, then settled on the floor.

  I heaved myself up from the sofa, needing something more effective at numbing the pain and desensitising my thoughts.

  I headed into my room to retrieve the bottle of Jack Daniels I kept in there and took a swig straight from the bottle. I settled back on to the sofa with it, kicked my feet up, and nursed the drink. The fiery liquid burned my throat, yet compared to the rest of the agony shredding me I relished the sweet pain as it slowly removed the bad from my mind.

  * * *

  The sound of a door unlocking and creaking open vaguely registered in my deadened state. How long I’d been sitting on the sofa I couldn’t say. All I knew was it had been long enough for the alcohol to have consumed me. I brought the bottle up to my lips to take another sip as a set of footsteps rushed over to my side.

  “Geez, what the hell happened, Dustin?” Raine gasped.

  Her hand reached out to the scratch marks on my cheek. With a grunt I retreated from her touch. I didn’t want a reminder they were there. They were the first noticeable sign of Elora’s abuse and I despised wearing her marks. Usually the bruises would be covered by clothes, and although I detested those too, at least I’d been the only one to know about them. The alcohol had made me forget the gashes were even there, and Raine brought it all back with a startling force.

  “Leave me alone, Raine,” I snarled.

  “What did she do, Dustin? Please, we can help.”

  I snapped my head to her, fixing her with a glare. I caught sight of Teo over her shoulder, his gaze full of concern. Ignoring them both I lifted the bottle again, taking a long drink.

  I swiped the back of my hand over my mouth. “I said. Fuck. Off. Go play happy families together and leave me alone.”

  Because they had the chance to play happy families, unlike me. They’d grow old together, have kids, grandkids even. They’d have it all and in one fell swoop I’d lost my best friend and my brother. Neither of them needed me now they had each other.